Lessons Learned

Do you write New Year's resolutions? Do you find that your resolutions are similar from year to year? I think that "losing weight" has been on my list for the last 25 years! I keep gaining and losing the same ten pounds every year...

A few years ago I decided to try something different. Instead of writing my resolutions for the year, I reflected back on the year that had passed and wrote down the lessons I had learned. I found that exercise to be very revealing.

Here are the top five lessons I have learned in the course of the year:

1. Inter-generational communication enriches the workplace and our communities.

Our population is aging. The baby boomers are retiring in record numbers. As they leave, we lose their corporate knowledge.

The Generation X and Y are joining the workforce. They have an innate ability to use technology to connect and to learn and teach.

The older generation and the younger generation have something to learn from each other if only they took the time to listen with an open mind and open heart.

This also applies to children (even adult age children) and their parents, grandchildren and their grandparents. I will keep fond memories from are a few road trips I took with my parents and my daughters this year where I learned some fascinating facts about my family history. My children taught a few things to their grandparents too for example they were surprised to find out that talking on the phone is passé because with MSN you can chat with half a dozen friends all at the same time while listening to music and doing homework.

2. Everyone has a story to tell and a lesson to teach.

I have met some fascinating people this year.

I recall a conversation I had with an older gentleman in a hotel in Fredericton (New Brunswick) who shared with me his career path in the public service and taught me a few things about perseverance and standing for what you believe in.

I remember a privileged moment I spent with a makeup artist at a drug store. She shared her story about her husband’s mental illness and her bout with breast cancer. She told me to stay strong and believe things would be OK. There we were, two strangers crying and hugging each other in the middle of a busy store connecting with each other’s pain.

I had an encounter with a salesperson in a store just last week. I don’t know why but somehow our polite conversation about the New Year turned into an emotional realization that life is precious. She had been in a very serious car accident just after Christmas. The car was totalled but she walked away without a scratch. The emergency personnel told her that she could have easily died in that type of accident. I asked her “Why do you think you were spared?” She admitted that that question had been haunting her ever since and that she felt it was time that she made big changes in her life. We exchanged business cards. I will reconnect with her. She has something to teach me.

3. “Emotion” is still a bad word in the workplace but without it, the humanity is missing...

A Director General approached me this week after we discussed some delicate situations in his work team and said “You are emotional when you talk about injustice in the workplace.” I did not know how to take his comment. I think he meant it as a constructive feedback, a warning maybe. If you show emotions, you won’t be taken as seriously. Let’s put this into perspective. I did not scream or elevate my voice. I did not use any inappropriate words. I did not cry or squirm. I did speak with conviction and dare I say it... passion.

I don’t know how to not show emotion when we talk about something that causes people pain and suffering in the workplace. Honestly, I don’t think I even want to learn how to be less emotional.

People say that my face is an open book. They can tell what I think and feel all the time (I guess that is why I am told I am a good actress – the feelings show through my body language)

I can’t hide what is in my heart. It is just not me. And I don’t see the need to hide my emotions unless I wanted to become a good poker player maybe...

4. When you ask for help, people are gracious.

As I was starting off my new consulting business last year, I met with some colleagues who had been operating their own business for years. They graciously shared with me what they have learned along the way. The things they wish they had done differently. The things that helped them become successful. The things they still want to achieve.

Even though we are all competitors for the same clients and contracts, my friends and colleagues took the time to teach me the ropes and give me pointers to help me succeed as well. They did it to be kind and supportive. They did because they cared about me. If you look at the world as a place of abundance rather than a place of scarcity, you believe that there is more than enough to go around so there is no reason not to share what you have with others. In fact, I believe that what you give away will come back to you at some point.

Thank you Tony, Paul, Susan, Guy, Julie, Daniel and John for your help and guidance.

5. If you are aligned with your purpose, things come to you easily

When I made up my mind to leave my government job to start my own business last September, I felt so at peace even though the circumstances were less than ideal.

The economic crisis was making headlines. I still had two kids in school and in braces. I had no contracts lined up. Colleagues thought I was nuts to leave such a good paying job and a golden pension plan to jump into the unknown. Maybe I was. I just had dreams and a lot of resolve. Somehow, starting my business felt like the right thing to do. I said to my husband and close friends that I could not, not do it. Not doing it would be like denying part of who I am.

Magically, everything fell into place. I surpassed my own hopeful goals. The phone started ringing the first day and never stopped ringing since.

Everyone who knows me will tell you that I am the anxious type. I have a vivid imagination and unfortunately this means that I am also good at “awfullizing” the future. I can easily come up with at least a dozen scenarios of how things can go wrong but oddly enough, I never went into that dark head space with regards to this new business venture. The storm can storm but I stay centered. I have this profound sense of calm because I know that I am doing exactly what I am meant to do.

As they say, “do what you love and the rest will follow.” In my case, that is certainly true. I am happy and content. Great way to start a new decade wouldn’t you say?

What are the lessons you learned in the last year?

How will that have an impact on the choices you make in 2010?

What is the one thing you could do differently this year that would make a significant contribution to your sense of well-being and happiness in the next month?

What is the first step you can take to make it happen?

When will you start?

Happy New Year!