What makes you happy?

I was driving back home after spending a couple of hours at my in-laws doing groceries, making them lunch and doing a bit of cleaning up. My mother-in-law had her chemo treatment number four on Friday (just two more to go) and she is not feeling very well. The radio was on and the Nickelback song If Today Was Your Last Day was playing. Usually, I'd think "this is a pretty sappy song" but today, for some reason, I paid attention to the lyrics and I had an unexpected reaction. Here is the refrain.

If today was your last day
And tomorrow was too late
Could you say goodbye to yesterday?
Would you live each moment like your last?
Leave old pictures in the past
Donate every dime you have?
If today was your last day...

I thought, “if today was my last day I would be content.” I did some of my very favourite things today. I started my day off with a one hour class of yoga, then went out for some green tea and had a heart to heart talk with one of my good friends. I got a call from my husband who is at an “away” this weekend at a Ringette tournament with my youngest daughter to tell me that she had scored her first goal of the season and her team was advancing to the finals. My daughter loves Ringette and my husband anything to do with ice rinks, strategic plays and friendly competition (whether its Ringette or, his favourite, hockey). I knew they were both happy right now. My eldest daughter is dating a new boyfriend and she is floating on air these days. She actually said “I love you back” when I said I loved her.

And I did a good deed. My mother-in-law was so appreciative that I came over to help her out for a few hours. I left their house feeling really good.That is when I heard the song... If Today Was Your Last Day. I felt like all was right in my little world.

What a great feeling! I don’t have that feeling very often because I tend to look at what is missing rather than what is right. That is just my personality. Over the last two years I have been working hard at changing my attitude. Today’s “eureka” moment was a proof that my efforts are paying off. I would just not have experienced that feeling of contentment a few years ago.

Have you seen the movie “Runaway Bride” with Julia Roberts and Richard Gere? In a nutshell, Julia Roberts' character Maggie, loves to be engaged but gets cold feet the day of the wedding. She has ran away from the alter four times. Richard Gere's character, Ike, is a reporter who is intrigued by this Runaway Bride and decides to write a story about her. He spends time in the little town where she lives, gets to know her and her "exes". Eventually they fall in love, get engaged, and yes, at the last minute, she runs away...again. There is a scene in the movie that struck me. Ike tells Maggie that with every one of her ex-fiancés, she morphed into a different person to please them. One fiancé tells Ike that Maggie likes her eggs over-easy. He remembers that about her because that is how he likes them. The second fiancé says that Maggie prefers her eggs poached, the third says she likes Eggs Benedict and the fourth say she likes her eggs scrambled. Ike`s point is that Maggie does not even know what she likes. After her broken engagement with Ike, Maggie spends time figuring out who she is. There is a scene where she tastes all the eggs dishes. She discovers that she likes Eggs Benedict but not any other kind.

So why am I telling you this story you wonder? In order to change my attitude towards life, I had to start with the basics. I was a lot like Maggie in the Runaway Bride movie. I was a master chameleon trying to please everyone. I could easily rime off a whole list of things that made my mother happy, my sisters happy, my husband happy, my kids happy and my boss happy...but I did not really know what made me happy. I had forgotten along the way. Realizing this, I decided one day to make a list of the things that made me happy. It took me a while, but I managed to identify quite a few things that brought joy to my life. That day, I made a decision to start choosing to include these joyful things more often in my life. What makes me happy are small things like a vase of fresh flowers or a walk in nature. Over time, as I built up my happiness muscles, I started to dream a bit bigger. I signed up for acting classes and did community theatre. I got trained as a yoga instructor. And, more recently, I left my government job to start my own consulting business.

Consciously choosing to include in your life things that make you happy is an act of self-love. The trick is to have a healthy balance of self-love with love for others. Maybe that is why I would be content if today was my last day. Today I had a healthy balance of things that made me happy and things that made others happy (and by the way, sometimes they are one and the same...)

My challenge to you this week is to write your own list of what makes you happy. I have a second challenge as well if you are up for it: choose to do at least one thing that makes you happy every day.

Let me know how that goes.