Love Is All You Need

I tried to find an uplifting subject for my blog this week. I really did. But in the end, there was no way around it, I needed to express my sadness. This week my father-in-law was diagnosed with Alzheimer and his wife, my dear mother-in-law, had a surgical procedure to biopsy a cancerous tumor in her lung. She had to be hospitalized two days later for complications from that procedure. A good friend's father was hospitalized in Montreal and passed away three days later. The artistic director of my Community Theatre Troupe sent us an email this week to let us know that the Christmas play would not happen this year - she suffered a heart attack and is waiting for heart surgery. After having known for over two months, a very special friend decided to break the silence and let me in - he told me that he had been diagnosed with lymphoma. That was my week. Lot's of sadness and worry. It sure makes you reflect on the things you take for granted like time for example...

How do you deal with all that bad news at once? How do you manage to keep your spirits up? How do you console your loved ones - those who are grappling with illness and those who love them and suffer along with them? What is it that I can learn from all this?

Yesterday there was a fund raising event at our local Shopper's Drug Mart. In exchange for a money donation to help families in need at Christmas, you got a free mini-facial and a makeup application. Lee, the lady who did my makeup was a beautiful woman in her sixties with a warm heart. I don't know why, but somehow the conversation shifted from what the new makeup colors were for this season to her life story.

She said she had a difficult week. Her 60 year old brother-in-law had suddenly collapsed on October 31 from an aneurism. He was at the peak of his career and had just signed an 11 years lease for a brand new office. Seventeen years ago, on the same date, his young brother had passed away. Their 91 year old mother had buried two sons in her life-time.

Lee had to travel to Montreal to help with the funeral arrangements and attend the ceremony. She was burnt out by all the emotions and activity and had collapsed in her bed at 8:00 pm the night before for a 12 hours sleep. I empathized with her. I was feeling burnt out too and had also tried to escape all this week's worries in a long fretful sleep. Then, before I could stop myself, all my grief tumbled out. I shared with this stranger all my sad news.

Lee held my hand and said: "Listen, in the space of 6 years my 18 year old hockey playing son was diagnosed with Crohn's disease and required complicated surgeries. Two years later I was diagnosed with breast cancer and lost my left breast. Two years later my husband, an executive with a federal government department, had a burn-out, sank into a serious depression and had psychotic episodes for which he had to hospitalized. There were many times when I did not think I could survive another day. But I kept going. Today it is all behind me and I am happy. God does not give you more than you can handle. The suffering makes you stronger. I believe that." Not only does it make you stronger but it makes you more attuned to others who are suffering. Lee is giving back. She volunteers her time as a makeup artist for the "Look Good, Feel Better" initiative for cancer patients.

Here we were in the middle of a busy store having a moment of privileged connection. We hugged and we cried. For that moment, we forgot where we were - all the bustling and the noise - and time stopped. Two strangers, fellow human beings, sharing sorrow and understanding. And then the moment was gone. We joked that we had to change the topic quickly or else all the hard work Lee had done to apply my makeup would go to waste. She retouched the makeup, I made my purchases and we hugged one last time. I probably will never see her again but that doesn't matter... I left the store feeling lighter.

I felt grateful that Lee had been on my path that day to share her story. Human beings can be so incredibly resilient. We can get through the most difficult situations. It is a matter of persevering even when the going gets tough, believing that there is a bigger purpose, and most importantly staying hopeful. And of course, to quote the Beatles, "you get by with a little help from your friends"

When you really think about it "all you need is love" to get through those hard times . Even love from a stranger in a store can turn your world around. Thanks Lee!

The Beatles

Lennon/McCartney

From The Blue Album

Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
There's nothing you can do that can't be done.
Nothing you can sing that can't be sung.
Nothing you can say but you can learn how to play the game
It's easy.
There's nothing you can make that can't be made.
No one you can save that can't be saved.
Nothing you can do but you can learn how to be you
in time - It's easy.

All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
Love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love, love.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
There's nothing you can know that isn't known.
Nothing you can see that isn't shown.
Nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be.
It's easy.
All you need is love, all you need is love,
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.
All you need is love (all together now)
All you need is love (everybody)
All you need is love, love, love is all you need.