September is a busy month of celebrations for us. On the same day, September 17, we celebrate the birthday of my husband's grandfather (my adopted grandfather is now 103 years old!!!); my sister's husband Roly (who just turned 50), and my sister-in-law (who lives in Australia). Two days later, it is my nephew's birthday. (He sent us an email earlier this week asking us to come over for a birthday dinner because, as he put it "turning 12 years old is a big deal and I want to make sure all my family is there to celebrate".) A few days after that, it is my husband's birthday (who is impossible to buy for - he never needs or wants anything), my younger sister is the following day and my best friend is three days later.
This morning I was grumbling a bit. Twice this week I went out shopping for my long list of presents (almost felt like a Christmas list!) but still had not found the perfect gift for my brother-in-law. I wanted to get something extra special to commemorate his fiftieth birthday (maybe it is even more meaningful to me than most because I am just 9 months away from celebrating my 50th birthday too.) Roly, my brother-in-law loves blue herons. He has a growing collection of sculptures of herons in his home; he even has a heron tattooed on his back. During my travels in BC I saw many depictions of herons in Haida art and admired the raw energy of that type of art. I was determined to find either a Haida print or a stylized sculpture of a heron as a gift for Roly. I visited many stores but no luck. This morning I got up early and convinced my husband to have breakfast downtown as an excuse to make a special trip to Snow Goose, a store near the Parliament Building that specializes in Inuit and Native Canadian art. And there I found it, the perfect gift, a framed print of a heron perched on a Haida canoe by a BC artist. Eureka!
Now to put this little escapade to find the "perfect" gift in context, you need to know that I clocked 12-14 hour days this week working feverishly to meet ridiculously short deadlines on several projects and dealing with the many unexpected twists and turns that come from working with government departments these days. I did not have time to shop. Let alone dedicate half a day to driving downtown, search for an elusive parking spot and traipse over to this hard to get to store. But I am very happy I did. I can't wait to see Roly's reaction when he opens his gift at the big party tonight.
You see, turning 50 is a momentous occasion for Roly and because I care for him, his birthday is important to me as well. What gives significance to a birthday is not only a matter of how old you are becoming. Grandfather appreciated our visit yesterday but he did not want us to make a big fuss "I've had 103 birthdays. Too many if you ask me." Grandfather's birthday was more important to us, his family, than it was to him... On the other hand, my nephew can't wait to turn twelve. In his short life, 12 years old seems like a big milestone. Maybe it is significant because at twelve years old he can babysit for money and go to bed later than his brother and sister. Or maybe being twelve is important to my nephew because he decided that it was going to be a special year no matter what. Who knows? If it is important to him, it is important to us.
On your birthday you get to be the center of attention in your little circle of family and friends. It is the one day in the year that you can call your own. As I grow older, the ritual of marking the passing of one more year of life becomes more meaningful. It is not so much about the birthday cake and the gifts (although those are very nice), but about the opportunity a birthday provides to reflect on the year that has passed and make wishes for the year to come.
Every year on my birthday, I take the day off and spend time on my own (preferably outside, somewhere in nature) meditating on who I am becoming. I look back at the proud moments I've had during the year and the trials I have surmounted. What did I have to let go of? Limiting Ideas about myself or others? Old patterns? Personality traits that are tripping me up (see last week's post on perfectionism). Perhaps I even had to let go of dreams that had become stale or just did not fit me anymore. What do I choose to do now? Will I finally make some time to take dance lessons to bring a bit more fun and joy into my life? Will I find my way through my daughters' difficult teenage years? Will my husband and I finally book that trip to Greece we've been talking about for so many years? Will I spend more time nurturing my friendships?
I think that birthdays are the perfect time to do a bit of personal strategic planning. Where have I been? What are the values I hold dear? And where am I going? How will I unlock my potential and continue to grow?
Of course, birthdays are an ideal time to say "I love you" to your loved ones (we never say it enough) and... to say "I love you" to yourself.
No comments:
Post a Comment