Teach me how to play

I had just dropped off my daughter at her Kendo lesson (Japanese bamboo sword fighting) and was contemplating what I would do for the next hour and a half until it was time to pick her up.
In that end of town, there is a store that I like to visit. It is called Serendipity Books and Gifts. The sign on the door says "Happy discoveries by chance" and that has proven true for me over the years. More than once I have found just the right thing at the right time.

At the back of the store I heard a man's grovelling voice behind a screen. I saw a sign that announced that Brian was giving Tarot Card readings today, $15. for 15 minutes. I was intrigued. I went to the cash to chat with P.J. the shop's owner. I had not had a reading in ages and for some strange reason, I felt compelled to ask "Any chance I can see Brian today? Is he fully booked?" P.J. replied that as luck would have it, she had one last slot available an hour later so I took it.

The first card that Brian turned was a Two of Pentacles. "Spirit is telling you that you need to build more time for play in your life." Brian went on to explain "You have invested a lot of time and energy in setting up your business. You have been worrying about your ability to succeed in these tough economic times but it will be just fine. You are on the right path. It is time for you to enjoy life a bit more. Lighten up. Have some fun."

I guess this advice would be valuable for most people in this day and age but the importance of play really resonated with me. Play, or the lack of it in my life, has been weighing on my mind these last few months. This is going to sound silly but I am not sure that I know how to play.

I was one of those kids that acted more like an adult than a free-spirited child. It seems like I have been serious and responsible forever. My mother says that as a child I would cry often. It was not a whining cry or a cry of for attention. I cried because I was truly sad as if I was carrying the weight of the world. I repeated the same words over and over again "Pleure, pleure, vivie" (Sylvie is crying and crying) as big tears rolled down my cheeks. In many of my childhood pictures I am either crying or dead serious. Poor kid!

While my sisters invented all sorts of games where they pretended to be wild adventurers, pirates, nurses, animal trainers and restaurant chefs, I sat idly on the sidelines as an observer. My favorite past time was reading and pretending I had a class full of students that I was teaching as I wrote on the blackboard in our basement. My sisters would be cavorting outside, climbing trees, hanging upside down from the swings, spraying each other with the water hose squealing with laughter while I would sit quietly reading or staring into space thinking. Yes, I did wish that I could join them in their games but I did not know how...to play.

So here I am, almost fifty, still not knowing how to play. I can't help it, my mind is focused on the running "To Do" list of my life: do the dishes, do the laundry, do the groceries, drop off and pick up the kids, write the proposal, write the report, work on the website, etc. I play this little game with myself. I declare that once the work is done, I will have time for play. But as you know, the work is never done. I think that my biggest challenge is to give myself permission to get off the merry-go-round of activities even though there is still work to be done. Maybe, to start with, I actually need to schedule some play time. Maybe, I need to enlist the help of loved ones who are good at making time to play...like my husband for example. Maybe, I need to not make play a goal to attain but simply a state of being.

While we were on vacation in Cape Breton, we went on a whale watching boat tour. The boat captain warned us that because there was a strong north wind and lots of waves, it was hard to spot the whales. In the early afternoon tour, they had not spotted a single one. He gave us the option of coming back another day free of charge. Everyone stayed on the boat hoping that we would be luckier than the last group. After close to two hours of scanning the waves for whales with no luck, the captain turned the boat around and headed for port. We all felt deflated. The sun was shining and the coastal scenery of the Cape Breton Highlands was awe inspiring but...we had not seen any whales. All of a sudden, a black form jumped out of the waves to our right. The captain cranked the motor and headed towards the whale. It jumped again. We all ran over to that side and pointed our fingers towards the whale excitedly. The children were squealing with delight. The adults were just as pleased but less exuberant. Many tried to capture the moment on camera and shot hundreds of pictures (my husband has 20 minutes of video showing mostly waves with the odd black fin popping out for a few seconds!) A little girl next to me said to her mother that watching the whales was even better than the shows at Walt Disney World!

We got lucky. We found a pod of pilot whales and followed them for a good half hour. We saw at least three dozen whales. At one point, they were surrounding the boat and we could see them from all angles. There was a baby whale that jumped alongside its mother in perfect unison. They were such a joy to watch. Every time I saw them jump, my heart smiled and skipped a beat. We even saw a school of dolphins making perfect arches above the waves three and four at a time. Nature gifted us with a rare sight.

Maybe nature can teach me something about play. The whales do not worry about balancing work with play. Every day brings its share of work - looking for food - and play - frolicking with friends and family. They just follow their heart's desires. There is no daily agenda. No mission statement. No strategic plan. No guilt. The work and the play just happen...all in good time.

Epilogue:

I guess writing this blog has inspired me. I just came back from "playing" outside.

It is the end of August and we are in the midst of a heat wave. It was 36 degrees with the Humidex factor today. It is Sunday but I have been working on my computer most of the day. I wanted to go out for a bike ride today but there was too much work to get done so I kept postponing it. When I looked out the window from my office, I noticed that the sun was beginning to set. I was just a few lines short of finishing my blog. It will be too late for a bike ride by the time I finish I thought sadly, or...maybe not! I dropped everything, quickly pulled on some workout clothes and got my bike out of the garage. The sky was streaked with pink ribbons. The air was mild with still a tinge of the day's heat. I could smell the sweet scent of the clovers in the field. I decided to tack on a couple of extra kilometres to my route even though it was beginning to get dark. I "raced" home so I could make it before it got completely dark. I accelerated my pace, pushing my limits. I felt my heart pumping and the wind on my face. And I smiled. I was having fun, without even planning to!