Need to schedule your down time?

I woke up with a start in the middle of the night remembering that I had forgotten to change time on the clocks to Standard Time. Before I went to bed, I had set my alarm for 8:00 am so that would have time to get ready to teach my 9:00 am yoga class but did not remember to change the time on the clock. Here I am wide awake at 5:30 am confused and a bit panicked. Do we move back the time one hour or move it forward? "We move the time back an hour" said my husband drowsily as I nudged him awake at 5:30 am. "Oh yeah" I thought, "I get to have an extra hour of sleep". I tried to go back to sleep but I tossed and turned, my subconscious still worried that I would somehow mess up and miss my yoga class. I woke up every half hour or so until I finally gave up and got up for good at 7:30 am. I got immersed in household tasks and ran out of time. I left home in a hurry at 8:45 cutting it much too close even though the fitness club is only 5 minutes away (if I am lucky and get all the green lights). I got to the club with just a couple minutes to spare before the start of my yoga class, out of breath and feeling stressed. Kind of ironic isn't it that I have to rush to go to a yoga class? Finding time to relax seems to be a stressful proposition for me.

According to an article entitled "The Time Crunch Takes its Toll" in the Globe and Mail, this Tuesday (November 2, 2010), I am part of a growing number of Canadians who are in a perpetual time crunch. The authors, Tralee Peace and Siri Agrell asked busy Canadian professionals to share their stories and opinions about on coping (or not) with the work-life juggle.

Asked what one thing we would like to change to improve work-life balance:

• 17.2% said they would like to do less work followed by more money (Wouldn't that be the very best scenario? Surprising that this number is not much higher!)
• 15.1% said they want more vacation (Again, how come this number is not any higher?)
• 8.1% said they wanted a different job
• 8.0% want a more interesting job (Maybe it is the same 8.1% who want a different job!)

Some 33% of Canadians have come to the same realization I did (almost 9 years ago) when I decided to work part time, four days a week rather than the usual 5 days of week, which reduced my pay cheque by 20%. Granted, I did the equivalent of 5 days work in four (often skipping lunches and staying late) but I had the luxury of having my Fridays off to do a workout and take care of some household duties which freed up my weekends to spend more quality time with my family.

Now that I work for myself, I rarely have a day "off". I actually work much longer hours, weekdays, evenings and most weekends. Since my office is in my home, there is no time off unless I am disciplined enough to put aside work for a period of time. It is very tempting to check emails, catch up on paperwork, prepare for the meetings and workshops of the following week, all in an effort to get organized and save time in the long run (very ironic!) Now what am I going to do about that? I will need to set some clear boundaries and schedule some "relax time. I hope that one day it will become part of my weekly routine to set aside some days of rest (weekends would be a good start!)

According to this article, 20% of leisure time has shrunk between 1998 and 2005. Vacations (and leisure time) take some planning and it appears we do not even have time to schedule down time either. Instead we let the vacation leave we are entitled to lay unclaimed. In Canada in 2009, a staggering 36.5 million vacation days have been unclaimed!

Our employers have a good thing going here because not only do we not take all of our vacation leave, but millions of us work unpaid overtime. Up to 2.6 million employees over the age of 15 worked unpaid overtime every week in 2007 and I am sure that this number has grown significantly over the last three years judging by what I see and hear when I visit workplaces these days.

To be fair, we cause much of that stress ourselves. Whether you like to admit it or not, it is the choices you make and the attitude you adopt that cause you stress. I had more than enough time to leisurely get ready for my yoga class this morning and leave in plenty of time but somehow, I missed the mark. I would agree with Mary Jane Copps who is quoted as saying "I often don't pay close enough attention to the time needed and then suddenly I'm overwhelmed or off-balance."

The article cites that when asked who most frequently cause us stress, Canadians admit that they themselves are their biggest cause of stress.

• Themselves: 3 times per week
• Spouse or partner: 2.1 times
• Kids: 2 times
• Colleagues: 1.9 times
  

It would seem that geography and culture has an impact on our work-life balance. According to the authors of this article, Pearce and Agrell, if you live in Quebec 50 to 54% of the population says that they are "very happy". Ontario is the bottom third with 40 to 44% and British Columbia is the very least likely to say they are "very happy" with 35 to 39%.

Francophones are often described as "bon vivant". A "bon vivant" is someone who is jovial and takes life in stride. A "bon vivant" enjoys the good things in life like good food and wine and socializing with friends. Maybe there is some truth to the saying "choose your attitude, choose your life"? I would think that Quebecers have very similar time pressures and responsibilities as their British Columbia counterparts but perhaps they manage it differently.

As a Franco-Ontarian with Quebec roots, some would call me a "bon vivant". Some of my fondest childhood memories are of the impromptu kitchen parties at Christmas time (especially) and other family gatherings. My aunt or my grandmother would get on the piano cranking out traditional "chansons à répondre". Someone would pull out the spoons and tap out the rhythm, someone else would take out the violin and everybody, adults and children, would sing and dance. If these kitchen parties are any indication of the French culture's aptitude of celebrating life and enjoying each other's company, then maybe this explains why, given similar life circumstances as other Canadians, Quebecers seem to find more ways to be happy.

But you know, this ability to find happiness throughout life's ups and downs is within everyone's grasp...it is simply a matter of choice.

I am running out of time

Time. I don't have enough of it. I always seem to be running out of time no matter how much planning and multi-tasking I do...

I pride myself on being creative. And I have used this creativity many times to get a crazy list of responsibilities and errands done in one day. The internal conversation goes something like this: "On the way to dropping off my daughter to her part time job at 7:30 am on a Sunday morning (yep - no lazy mornings in this house, ever, it seems), I will drop off the overdue letters in the mailbox. On the way back, I will pick up some Tim Horton's for the rest of the family to speed up the breakfast routine. With the time I saved not cooking breakfast, I will sit at the computer and write my weekly blog. I should be finished writing the blog by 9:30 am and will go do my weekly 10 km run. On my run, I will take a detour to the video store to drop off the DVD's. When I'm back from my run, I will do a quick vacuum and clean up of the house before I leave to go clean up my mother-in-law's house who is too ill from the chemo treatments for her two forms of cancer to do it herself. On the way back from my in-law's, I will drop by the bank, return that item at the store and pick up my daughter who would have finished her shift at the cantine. That should leave me enough time to pack my suitcase and prepare my materials for my business trip tomorrow: I will be delivering three workshops back to back in three different cities in two different provinces." That is going to be my day today. Gosh. I'm exhausted just writing this down!

Yesterday, I had a booth at a Christmas Bazaar in a local senior's home. I make jewelery and Christmas decorations and I thought it may be a fun way to make a bit of pocket money for the Holidays. I was there from 7:30 am to 2:00 pm (a good chunk of time considering how hectic my life is these days) and I made a grand total of $34.00!!!! Not worth it at all. The bazaar was supposed to be open to the public and set up in the large commons room on the street level of the senior's home, but was relocated in the basement at the last minute. The only people that came, were the residents of the home. The only things that sold well were the hand knitted slippers, woolen shawls and the fruit cakes! It is almost funny isn't it?

I tried to see the positive side of things as I felt the anger (at myself) and disappointment rising inside of me while I was packing up all the unsold merchandise at the end of the day. "Well, it wasn't a complete waste of time. I met some nice people who do crafts like me. I did get to sit down and relax for a while..."

In the end, I think what that experience taught me was how our relationship with time changes with age. At the booth next to me, the lady who knitted all those slippers and shawls, (and made a small fortune selling them) kept saying to folks that knitting was a good way to pass the time. On the other side of me, there was a newly retired couple. The husband was there as moral support to his wife. He had nothing special planned for the day so he thought he might as well give her a hand. His wife said that making jewelery made the long days of February and March go by faster. She missed the hustle and bustle of her previous "life" as a decorator and designer for a big chain store so she found another way of expressing herself creatively through jewelery making. The elderly residents from the home came to the bazaar to pass the time. They said visiting the booths was a nice way to spend time on what would have been another long and boring Saturday.

All these folks seem to have too much time on their hands. Part of me was envious... I started wondering how I would feel when the kids have left home and I am retired. Given the speed at which I live my life now, would I be relieved and grateful for the extra time on my hands or bored out of my mind? One thing I know for sure is that I can't see myself being happy when buying a pair of woolen slippers is the highlight of my weekend!

So what do I take away from this experience? I really need to change to my attitude towards time.

When I was working full-time for government, I was crazy busy. In that environment, being busy often means that you are important and makes you feel indispensable. After some introspection, I had to admit to myself that being highly solicited flattered my ego. But my physical and mental health was suffering. I wanted more time. And more flexibility in my time. So I left government and started my own business. I have more flexibility now but I am just as busy, if not more. Why do I do this to myself? I just moved the problem around. I did not resolve it.

I want to take a long hard look at my relationship with time and make some real changes. My sense is that I will need to re-assess all the beliefs I have about time:

• Time is money
• I am getting older every day
• You can play only when the work is done
• Don't waste time doing "nothing"
• How we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives
• No time like the present
• You may delay, but time will not.
• So little time and so much to do
  

It is 9:30 am. Time for my run. Got to go!

I think I could use a little coaching with this time obsession. Any suggestions?

Food for thought:

For everything there is a season,
And a time for every matter under heaven:
A time to be born, and a time to die;
A time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
A time to kill, and a time to heal;
A time to break down, and a time to build up;
A time to weep, and a time to laugh;
A time to mourn, and a time to dance;
A time to throw away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
A time to embrace, And a time to refrain from embracing;
A time to seek, and a time to lose;
A time to keep, and a time to throw away;
A time to tear, and a time to sew;
A time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
A time to love, and a time to hate,
A time for war, and a time for peace.

Ecclesiastes 3:1-8