Leaving a Legacy

"So what was the best part of your trip?" I asked my 16 year old the day she returned from a 10 days Western European trip with her school band.

"Visiting Vimy Ridge" she said without hesitation. I was puzzled by her reply. You would think that a group of 16 to 18 years old traveling without parents for the first time would have most appreciated the freedom of choosing what to do, what to eat and when to sleep the best.

"Why Vimy Ridge?" I ask.

"Because the moment I stepped on the grounds I felt like I was home and I was so proud to be a Canadian. I felt very grateful for the sacrifices these soldiers had made to give us our freedom."

Vimy Ridge, battle fought 9-14 April 1917 during WORLD WAR I. The long, low ridge formed a key position linking the Germans' new HINDENBURG LINE to their main trench lines leading north from HILL 70 near Arras, France. Both British and French forces had tried unsuccessfully to take the ridge earlier during the war. In spring 1917 the task was given to the Canadian Corps, commanded by British Lt-Gen Sir J.H.G. BYNG. After careful training and rehearsal, and supported by almost 1000 artillery pieces, the Canadians attacked along a 6.4 km front on 9 April 1917. It was the first time the Canadians attacked together, and they achieved a magnificent victory, sweeping the Germans off the ridge. By April 14 they had gained more ground, more guns, and more prisoners than any previous British offensive had done. Canadian casualties mounted to 10 602, of which 3598 were killed. Nevertheless the sense of achievement and national pride created by this success gave the Canadians a great feeling of self-confidence. The Canadian Corps was to gain recognition as an elite corps. (http://www.thecanadianencyclopedia.com/index.cfm?PgNm=TCE&Params=A1ARTA0008376)

After a reading of the poem "In Flanders Fields", the history teacher that accompanied the group on this tour of war memorial sites of Western Europe gave a touching speech. A young man who was turning 18 years old that day had the honor of playing The Last Post on his trumpet. They observed a minute of silence. The silence was eerie. The kids were reverent, some had tears rolling down their cheeks. To close the ceremony, the kids and teachers all held onto an edge of a giant Canadian flag and proudly sang our national anthem "Oh Canada". The tour guide said that this was one of the most touching tributes she had had the priviledge to witness.

My daughter took close to a hundred pictures of the Vimy Cemetery in Pas de Calais in France. She was impressed by the silence and the countless rows of tombstones. There are over 11,100 graves in that cemetery. Each tombstone is engraved with a maple leaf and is adorned with well tended flowers. They spent almost two hours walking the grounds and reading the epitaphs.

We say that teenagers these days are selfish and superficial, craving constant stimulation from MP3 players, internet, video games, etc. Think about it, a group of 25 teenagers spent hours in a cemetery paying homage to Canadian fallen heroes and, for most of them, that day on Vimy Ridge was the most special day of their trip! My hope is that this Europe trip has given my daughter and her young friends a chance to reflect on who they are, why they are who they are and perhaps, think about how they want to leave the world when their time comes.

The soldiers of the first and second World War, our great grandfathers and grandfathers, fought for justice and freedom. Their courage and actions has left a legacy of peace for Canada. In light of this, let's remind ourselves that our actions today will have an impact on our world tomorrow.

As parents, what will be our legacy to our children? How do we set the stage for our children to excel and thrive? How will we leave the environment? Both the physical environment of our planet like the birds and the trees and the psycho-social environment of our communities, workplaces and schools.

What is one thing that I can do today that will contribute to the legacy I want to leave behind? It could be as simple as encouraging my family to go out for a bike ride to appreciate nature and take care of our bodies or as grandiose as starting to write that life-changing book that has been percolating in the back of your mind for years.

What will be your legacy?

Little Things Matter

We were sitting at a local Tim Hortons with a group of friends and family last Friday evening and the conversation soon turned to a topic that has been the subject of countless conversations in the last few days: the passing away of Michael Jackson and Farrah Fawcett on June 25, 2009. Michael Jackson's life work is impressive, but his musical genius was at its height in the eighties. Farrah Fawcett's role in the television series Charlie's Angels and her infamous poster made her an icon of the seventies. (How many of us women in our late thirties and forties sported the Farrah Fawcett hairstyle once upon a time?) Funny how some people define the style and culture of certain decades. Of course, the Beatles and the Rolling Stones ruled the sixties and the television series Friends and the band U2 had a huge following in the nineties. Who has defined the new millenium so far?

This got me thinking about my own life, who and what has made a lasting impression on who I have become? I attended a conference with Dr. Phil a few years ago and he asked us to take a few minutes to write down the ten most impactful events of our lives (positive or negative) and then to list the five people who have marked us the most deeply (encouraging us to think beyond our parents and spouse). This was a very revealing exercise. I was reminded that sometimes a fleeting encounter with someone or a seemingly ordinary day could leave an indelible mark on your life.

My mother worked full time as a physician - which was a rare occurence for a woman in the early sixties. This meant she had to rely on child care for my sister and I. The French Catholic Convent ran a day care near our home. The good sisters had already taught me how to count, read and write my letters so when it was time to enroll me into school, I had to skip kindergarten and was the youngest student in grade 1. I never did quite fit in and had a hard go of it. I fondly remember my grade 1 teacher, Mme Boudreau, who had been so kind to me. I still cherish the book she had given me as a prize for my reading ability. Maybe that is what got me started as an author? (my third publication is due out this Fall!)

Once, I ran into a woman who used to work with me. I didn't know her name but I recognized her face. She told me that she had attended one of my workshops a few years back and had admired my dynamic presentation style especially my sense of humour and passion for the subject. She came to see me at the end of the workshop to congratulate me. She confided that she would love to do public speaking but she was much too shy. She wished she had my self-confidence. I replied that self-confidence was a state of mind. You have to feel the fear and do it anyway. I told her that I was sure that she could be a good public speaker if she put her mind to it. Well, she took my advice to heart apparently and signed up for a Toastmasters group. She ended up changing the focus of her career and became a public speaker giving educational talks and leading workshops. She wanted to thank me for having made a difference in her life. Who knew? A few simple words of encouragement to a participant in a workshop was a life changing moment in someone's life!

This is my challenge to you this week: make a list of the the persons or the events that has defined each of the decades of your life. Does it shed light on who you have become? Is there anyone you would like to thank?

With the knowledge that sometimes little things can change the direction of your life what would you do differently today?

Life is a stage

On Saturday evening, it was opening night for our community theater's annual Murder Mystery in which I play the part of a slightly demented nurse (it's so much fun playing the villain!). Have you ever been a participant in a Murder Mystery? Characters wander around mingling with guests. They share bits and pieces of information about themselves and their relationship with other characters. Guests can ask them questions which actors will answer in character.

In this play there is no script to learn by heart instead we had to do a number of scenes in which our character shares crucial information that would help participants piece together clues that would point to the murderer. It is all improvisation. No two shows are exactly the same.

Unlike typical plays, actors in murder mysteries do not rehearse lines and blocking (where to stand on stage). Rather, the actors spend many hours doing what we call "table work", creating a detailed biography for their character: when they were born and where, what kind of life they led, what brought them to the events of this day, and what possible motives they could have to kill the victim. Then, each actor takes a turn sitting on the "hot seat". Fellow actors ask all kinds of questions in character which forces you, as an actor, to get well acquainted with your character (their personality, fears, hopes, and motivations).

Usually an actor works within the confines of the story as it is written by the author. An actor memorizes his lines and adds his own unique touch through voice intonations, facial expressions, or physical actions but he cannot change the outcome of the story. In a Murder Mystery, an actor works in partnership with the author and the audience and is an active co-creator of the story.

I would say that for some people life is a stage where they perform the same play over and over again. For these people, life is like a Shakespearean play where everyone has a pre-determined role and destiny. Their character has a script, a prescribed way of being. They act their part to fulfill the expectations of others. The character they play limits the actions they can take in life (or so they believe).

I prefer being the author of my own life. I like the idea of improvising my next move as I go with the flow of life. My past serves as an interesting Back Story to my character that neither predicts or confines me into a role. As I reflect on my past I can learn from what has worked well, what was tricky and what I could do differently. I take ownership for my choices, good or bad.

Like the interactions actors have with the audience in a murder mystery, the people I meet along the way help me co-create the scenario of my life. You can't live your life in a bubble without being touched by the people that come into your life and why would you want to? At the same time, you can't let the people in your life dictate the road you should take. Rather, invite them to discover the route and destination along with you.

I know that in the end, I am writing how my story evolves and how it will end. Your life can be as big as your imagination. All you need to do is believe that anything is possible.

If you want to know more about improvisation and the life lessons it teaches us, check out the website of my friend and colleague, Rob Nickerson.