Do you remember how to play?

I hate to admit it but I was envious... After the first 4 km of our run on a warm summer day, my husband and his running buddy decided that it was enough running for a day and returned home. Meanwhile, even though I was feeling kind of sluggish, I continued on running with my girl friend. This was supposed to be my long run of the week (I am training for a half marathon this September) and I was going to run my 10 km no matter what - that was the plan and I had to stick to the plan. (I tend to be very determined - my husband would say that I am stubborn...) After a tough 10km run I came back home to find my husband, his buddy and a next door neighbour sitting in the back yard drinking beer and having a good old time. An impromptu party! My girlfriend joined them for a while until she had to leave for an appointment. I was there physically but I could not join them psychologically because in my mind I was running through my "to do" list. The "10km run" was now checked off my list but there was still at least 10 other things I wanted to get done by end of day. I was smiling outwardly but inside, I was stressing: "I can't afford to sit back and relax right now, I have too many important things to do. No time for fun yet." Even worse, I needed my husband's help to get the biggest chore done: cleaning out the basement to prepare of a guest who would be spending a couple of nights that week. So here I was getting upset at my husband for relaxing in the sun and getting angry at myself for being unable to let go and join him.

When I did my certification in Myers-Briggs Type Inventory Levels I and II (MBTI), the trainers led us through some exercises to highlight the differences between types. I recall vividly doing an exercise that was meant to differentiate between people who are judging and perceiving. People with a preference for judging like to have closure and make quick decisions. They are the type of people who have a mile long list of things to do. Checking off an item on that list gives them immense satisfaction. People who have a preference for perceiving like to go with the flow and keep their options open. They don't like to make plans ahead of time and leave themselves lots of flexibility to seize opportunities as they emerge. If you were to plan a trip with someone who is judging on the MBTI scale they would have the plane tickets and the hotels booked way ahead of time and would most likely have a detailed itinerary for the trip that describes the planned activities for each day (what museums / sites to be visited, where to eat and even a list of local souvenirs to pick up as momentos). If you are more of a perceiving type on the MBTI scale, you might book the tickets closer to the date of departure, have an idea of where to stay on the first few nights and then trust that you will figure out what to do next as you chat with the locals or exchange tips and tricks with other tourists.

So back to the exercise that the trainer led us through. On one flipchart she wrote "I can play anytime" and on the other flipchart she wrote "I can play once my work is done". We were then asked to go stand in front of the flipchart with the sentence that most related to ourselves and explain our choices. Guess what flipchart I chose? Of course, I chose the flipchart that said "I can play once my work is done." The problem is that the work is NEVER done in my opinion so I almost never let myself play. Honestly, I don't think I remember how to play...

Which flipchart would you have chosen? Why? Are you content with your choice? If not, how can you re-establish a better balance?

A UCLA study demonstrated that at five years of age we engage in creative tasks 98 times a day, laugh 113 times, and ask 65 questions. By age forty-four, we are creative only twice a day, we laugh only 11 times, and ask a measly 6 questions. I was not surprised to see those stats but nonetheless I think it is a shame. How are we supposed to ride the constant wave of change if we don't take the time to imagine new ways of doing things, finding the humor in every day life and asking the "why" and "why not" questions more often?

I would like to reverse this trend. Ghandi said " Be the change you want to see in the world". So I will start with changing myself. This week, I will experiment living without a "to do" list and let the current of life inspire my actions. What about you?